Sunday, June 9, 2013
in his hand
I took that picture at National Harbor last week, where I was staying for a business trip. For those of you that haven't been there, that hand is actually part of a statue, and I thought the sun's position made for a very cool photo.
I haven't been away from N for more than 12 hours for a very long time - not since his last business trip, I think, which was last September. I was not looking forward to being on my own at all, even though it was only for a couple days. Finally ending our six years of dating long distance was amazing, but I think it traumatized me into thinking that any temporary distance will quickly turn into that horrible feeling of missing him for weeks on end. We spend so much time together since getting married, that sometimes it feels like I can't exist without him. It's a scary (and spiritually dangerous, I think) feeling.
Don't get me wrong, I missed N a ton while I was gone, but it was actually a pretty liberating feeling. I walked down the streets and along the docks, just enjoying the quiet time and having flashbacks to my college life in a city. I ate ice cream myself on a bench watching the sunset, just spending time in my thoughts like I haven't done in a long time and marveling at the beauty of the red and orange sky. It reminded me that even though N is my best friend and my partner in life, this is still very much my life to enjoy. Every minute that I'm breathing is a beautiful gift from God, and I think He wants me to realize that N is not my end-all blessing in this life. My life is, first and foremost, in His hands.
I was thrilled to return home, and N and I had a pretty relaxing weekend hanging out together. I'm trying, though, to learn from my short trip away. I need to be more intentional about setting aside alone time to myself, and more time alone with God. Not only do I need it, but I think it will also be good for N, who I think could use a female break every now and then. ;)